Announcement: We regret to inform you that for the next 24 hours, the term "I had a great day today" has officially been embargoed.
The reason: U.S. Nordic combined skier Bill Demong has temporarily retired it.
Consider the succession of events that unfolded in Demong's world on Thursday:
2) He was named U.S. flagbearer for the Closing Ceremony;
3) He proposed to his girlfriend;
4) She accepted.
He also learned to play the piano, caught a kid falling out of a tree, helped some elderly women in distress by changing their flat tire, made a perfect ice sculpture, threw a tremendous party (while playing keyboard with the band) and gave a young couple two tickets to WrestleMania.
Wait a second, that was Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, not Bill Demong. Our mistake.
For the record, it is fairly easy to confuse two people named Bill with six-letter last names, especially when they both happen to have authored a day that's just about too good to be true.